The awaken of the angrymamabear

Picture from google which sums up what is in my mind right now. :P


There are always those days when it doesn't matter what happen to you and you are still chill on the inside, and there are also those days when you got poked (for even just a little bit) it awakes the angrymamabear in you and suddenly you just snap and you breath fire of frustration and anger out of your nostrils and mouth. And you just feel like flying somewhere to get a bit of peace and silence.

...

Hang on, did i say angrymamabear or angrymamadragon? o.O? Let's say I'm a hybrid of bear and dragon because I am a mom and moms are cool. hohoho...


To tell you something. today is the day I became a hybrid mom.


So, last night I promised my eldest daughter to go to her preschool this morning to watch a play "Urbans, Ties And Turkish Slippers". 

I've been having rough days with hormonal, overtired kids since our short trip to the Southern region. :( Going through the days with my sanity still intact was hard. Thank God, somehow the knowledge that God is in control of all this chaos at home kept coming back to my mind throughout the day and calmed me a bit when I felt like breaking down. Having kids is really a training ground for me ^___^' There were times I felt like the joy of motherhood was out of the window together with my sanity as my 2 year old kept changing her mind about something and throwing a tantrum for like 4 times a day and my 4 year old copying her 2 yo sister. Gosh! It felt like I have 2 year olds twins!!! And to top it all, they always fight over things! =______=' Not fun.

Thankfully, I stumbled upon my girls' infant-toddler-stage pictures and videos while tidying up our computer files. Oh boy, it gave me a warm fuzzy feeling inside and suddenly I realised how quick time flies and I resolute to myself that I WILL enjoy each moment I have with my kids. Well, at least I'll try.. starting from tomorrow as it was past bedtime and the kids were off to bed.



........




Anyway, back to the main story. So I promised D last night to watch a play at school today...


Then, she woke up to a fever of 39.5C this morning.  Can you imagine her dissapointment when all she could think of this morning was the play yet that is the one thing she can't have? She surely was sad, and it breaks my heart. :(


...and as if that is not enough, she woke her little sister up at 6 something close to 7 am which turned her little sister to a Tasmanian Devil toddler. [Read:Very ferocious and aggresive little toddler.] TT____TT (mood switching from being sad to being angry out of frustration. I've told her a million times NOT TO wake her sister up whenever she feels like it =____=')

Oh, did i tell you my youngest is 2 years old now? People call 2 year olds stage the "terrible two" for a reason, a very good one. Not to mention when hey are lacking sleep.. and food..

So we ended up staying at home. Good thing I did most of the cleaning early this week and did 2 batches of laundry yesterday so I only have 2 batches of laundry to do today ( I know what you are thinking. No, I haven't been on a laundry washing strike. =____=' I wash the laundry regularly). It is still so hard to believe that having 2 mini size humans changed the frequency of laundrywashing from once a week to once every two days up to twice a day!! I actually thought I'd be washing 3 loads max a week with 2 kids. Tsk. Such wishful thinking.. So, if you readers are kid-less and still doing your laundry once a week, enjoy it while you can! Life with kids is like living in a pile of endless laundry. :P

The kids were not in a good mood. D is tired, A is feeling grumpy. A has been very feisty today to her big sis. As you can guess, this leads to lots and lots and LOTS of time out... and lots of crying from both sides (even I felt like crying out in desperation too :()

A decided that nap time is useless when you had 10 minutes power nap. SO, she has been singing, getting her leg stuck in her bolster's tie, shouting and playing in her cot for the last 2 hours. While D had a long nap but couldn't really eat as she kept gagging with the sight of food (but always fight for it and would cry when I take her food away to replace it with milk or other stuff). Come on D!! You can DO IT!!

Lots of crying, lots of fighting, lots of yelling nd I just feel like losing it!!!!!! >:[ Especially in the heat of the hot sunny day and cooking nonstop for 2 hours which pump the temperature at home up.

Then my plants died. Actually, it's been dead for I don't know how many days. I haven't been watering them since I found out some spiders decided to make the water spray their home and making webs here and there. BOO you spiders! I feel like chucking that out and buying a new one. 😂 but I could hear dear hubby complaining if I do it everytime.

Ah, both kids are out and climbing on me. Buhbye!

Good Friday

Have a good Good Friday peeps!


This year we are doing something different. Instead of staying in Sydney, we decided to go on a short trip down south. The kids sure are excited (they woke up and got cheeky very early in the morning)!!

We enjoyed the morning sun and the scenic drive down south looking at the hills and mountains, green pasture, meadows, cows, and random stuff on the road as well. Kids are pretty easy to please on this sort of trip. There are just so many things to look at in the first 1 hour at least :p

 The moment D saw a caravan, she wouldn't stop looking for it and kept asking where it went. The moment we saw a dog on a ute, the kids couldn't stop shouting and shrieking in excitement "anjing!!!! Woof woof!!" Aaaaawwwwhhh, so cute!!!!



In that very moment, I felt so blissful and at peace.

Everything feels right and are in their own places (why does this sound OCD? O.o?)



5 minutes later, not so much =___='


I repeat.

The . kids . Couldn't . Stop . Shouting . AND . Shrieking . In . Excitement .


Shouting by itself is fine. Shrieking every once is a blue moon is fine. But, shouting and shrieking for 5 minutes straight in a small contained area? Get me out of the car!!!! @_@'

Then I realised something at the utmost importance (not).


I am getting old



.......



Being a mom of two makes me old. Don't get me wrong; I am still young and not even in my 30s, but having kids drained a lot of my energy and patience.. especially when things became out of my control and the Momzilla in me starts roaring in frustration.. and this, my friends, has changed my personality from being a bubbly adventurous girl to be a grumpy old lady who loves being in her very own quiet space (which, obviously, is non-existent with a 4 and 2yo girls chirping their way around the apartment) ~_~'


However, these moments are very precious as they grow up too fast! So, I am learning to enjoy all of the ups and downs of parenting. All only with God's help..


When we first had D, I wasn't sure why God has given us such a precious baby when I felt inadequate to be a mom. Years passed, then the eureka moment finally kicks in! Having kids is my training ground. My training ground to rely more on God's providence, to rely on God for strength, to become more patient and compassionate, to learn to be selfless, to see God's grace in a clearer lens as we are like kids too in so many ways!

We rebelled, we sin on a daily basis, we most often want to be our own boss and we all need grace.

While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. While we reject God, He sacrificed Himself to pay for our wrongdoings. All of this, is so we could be His children..


Such an amazing God who is also just. :)

Somehow for some unknown reasons (on the scenic drive while we enjoy the morning Sun and God's great creations), I kept imagining that day in Gethsemany and the possible timing of how things unfold on the actual good Friday 2k years ago. My heart ached, I felt terrible for the injustice and punishments that Jesus Christ had to endure just so we could be made guiltless when the end of the world has come and God came to judge us. All this, so there is someone who could defend and speak on our behalf, our LORD Jesus Christ. :)


By the way, I must be on FIRE now that I am posting for 2 days in a row!


This MOM is on FIREEEEEE *Singing This Girl Is On Fire*

Graduation~

Super late post from 2011:

Hi all! :D :D :D

It's been half a year since the last time I updated this blog! wow, time sure flies.. @.@'
*cough* to be honest, I've actually forgotten that I have this blog.. till when one of my friend told me how entertaining my blog is. and I went "o yeahhhhh.. I have a blog!! :P " and that has somehow made my day. lol.

Anyway, the topic of this entry is graduation! Yess! The time to toss the hats is back!! (well, at least, for my flat mate. I've got my turn already.. :P) which means that the routine to get and organize a bouquet/ graduation gift is back on!!! ^^ yeahh!!

Do you have bad dreams when you are scared of something? Say, dreaming about failing a subject before having your final exams? or perhaps, dreaming about showing up late during the exam day?

Well.. I know I did!! Though in my case, I dreamt about showing up late for my graduation ceremony. Even worse, I missed out my own graduation ceremony in my dream @.@!! Boy! It was scary!

I was too excited I guess. :P

The world of motherhood

Everybodyyyy, meet Dory, the baby whom I couldn't wait to meet 5 years ago! :) well, she looks completely different now that she is 4y+

Well, how life has changed completely for me was unimaginable when i wrote my last post. From the pain of childbirth(s), natural births without epidural, to poonamis, to be bitten while breastfeeding, to have my kids pooing on the carpet or on the toilet floor while taking a shower (and many more weird happenings), all of these finally made me realise how challenging it is to care and nurture little humans while simultaneously keeping my sanity at bay. @_@'

As i have mentioned before, D is now 4+... and now, she has a little sister, A. Although none of my kids are babies anymore, and things seem to be easier, I am confidently saying there were lots of moments i had no idea how to parent my kids effectively. 

Why is that?

.....

well... Kids are naturally good detectives. They sort of know how to push your button and they know how to excel in it. How? Well, no one gets better at things without practicing, aye? Unfortunately, they seem to be very diligent of doing trial and errors with us parents on a daily basis. Not only that, they could also smell your uncertainties, fears and sluggishness and try to sway you away from your original intentions.. like what happened tonight. 

Context: it was night time.. the kids were high from watching Pocoyo and having ice cream for dessert. Truly, a BAD combo before bed time. 

Dad: "Bed time girls, give a good night kiss, then off to bed!"

D and A: *run run run, climb up to mummy and daddy's bed to give a kiss.. well, at least D did this while A was trying to get her way out of it. This alone took quite a bit of effort from us parents to get kisses from A*

2 mins later... 

D: "Mummy, I'll give you a body massage" *giving a massage to mum's back, probably thinking that if she does this, Mummy will forget it is bed time already and will let them stay up a weeeee bit longer.*

Me: *enjoying the massage and wishing it's not bed time yet, until... 

A: *Joins in and start patting me on my back which became a drumming competition with D on my back* boohoooo... now my back hurts even more 😢😢😢

Dad: "enough, enough, bed time, go!" *feeling sorry for me*

If only this happens during day time, I'd be more than happy to have them rolling on my back. :D 

Hmmm... what to say... 

Just a thought.

Having kids is truly one of the most confusing thing ever. There are so many sacrifices to be made yet it feels so rewarding. They bring you so much joy that made you feel all of the worry and effort are worth it. They make you tired during the day that you long for the night time to come quickly, yet when they are away you miss them so dearly. On some days you feel like putting them up on Ebay, on some other days they are ever more so precious in your sight. They are human, and so are you.. but being kids, they are very quick to forgive unlike us adults. This made me realise on how much better kids are at giving grace and mercy than us, adults. We learn a lot from their compassion to others, from their curiousity on how things work, from how they get to just stop and enjoy the moment, and from reflecting what they have been exposed to. They are mirrors from God! Many times I was annoyed by the things my kids do which unfortunately they learnt from me. This gives me opportuniy to reflect upon myself and to change for the better as well.. 

Anyway, nighty night! Time to doze off now that my 2 kids are down!

Oh, and have a good Good Friday :) 

Tick~ Tock~

Hello again fellas!

Sorry for the random picture I put here. hahahaha.. If you asked me how 2013 has been so far, the answer would be this picture. :P Like what people say, a picture is worth a thousand words. So, this is it! Maybe I don't need to write a long blog entry and a picture would summarize everything up for me.

Anyway,


It has been AGES since the last time I updated my blog! lol. The last time I updated this blog was when I has just started my Master degree almost 3 years ago. And guess what? I am DONE!! YEAHHHH!!

Not only done with uni, I got into a relationship with a guy during my postgraduate degree (He is now my ex-boyfriend), I got a full time job as an accountant aaaaaanddd the other big news is: I am now pregnant with him. :D :D :D

...

Wait...  it sounds wrong somehow.

Ah! Right. I forgot to mention that I got married with this man at the beginning of this year. hahahahahh~ SURPRISE!! (PS: don't worry. This pregnancy is not out of the wedlock. hehehe.. Apparently, we hit the jackpot during our honeymoon in Europe :P).

Yep, and life has been good. There were ups and downs but when I look back, I could see clearly on how God has been actively at work in my life. :) He has been gracious and good to me. hehe..

I am 5.5 months pregnant and I enjoy every moment of it (except the morning and night sickness, back aches, headaches, runny nose, nose bleeds and the bloatedness. lol). Apart from that, I enjoy the baby kicks, the frequent trips to the loo and the fact that hubby loves the baby sooooo much (and not to mention how much I am spoiled when I am pregnant :P lol. kidding). And it is fun to see how my hubby has been trying his best to satisfy my food cravings. hehehehehe..

One big highlight of this year is: things were mostly unplanned yet they happened anyway! Last year, I did not expect that I would get a full time job straight away after uni. Nor did I think that I would be pregnant by the time I graduated from my master degree. A big shock? YES!! Especially when I first found out that I was pregnant!

So the story goes..This was how I found out...


*Imagine chirping birds on the tree and a soft whirl of wind gushing from the window* well.. sorry, none of this actually happened. It was late at night, hubby and I were filling in the forms for my health check.

So, I was filling in the forms for my health check up for my PR application and I stumbled upon this section where I have to sign to a statement saying that I wasn't pregnant to do my X-rays. What came into my mind was "Well, I know I am NOT pregnant. But..." then I thought, just to be safe, I'd better do a little test at home a night before the medical check up.

And so I did. I asked my hubby to buy some pregnancy tests for me and he got it from Coles.

You can't imagine how shocked I was when suddenly I saw 2 red strips on the test strip. The second strip was veeeeeeery thin (as if it was being indecisive of whether to say positive or negative).

Being new at this thing, I thought to myself: well, maybe I did not do it right. Maybe I over dipped it or something.  So I went out to the kitchen and took another test strip.

Back to the toilet, and still, it gives exactly the same result like the first one.

My heart started pumping even harder and it gets harder for me to think. I was like, REALLYYYYYY?????? There was this sudden hot flush to my face and suddenly hubby came in and asked: "How's the result???"

and only then I realised that I have been ignoring my hubby's question since I was doing the first test back then.

and yes, I wasn't sure about it, so we went to a doctor and did a blood test a day after.

and VOILA!! when the results came out, I was 5 weeks 3 days pregnant.

...

GOSH! That was quick!! lol! Didn't have much time to enjoy the 'honeymoon' period for the newlyweds and the baby come along. hahahahahahahahahh.. Now every time I remember those moments, I would have a wide smile on my face. lol.

*wide grin*

Can't wait to meet my babyyyyyyyy~  ^_________^


Anyway, gotta go. time to go home now :D See yas soon! Cao!

utter randomness in the morning~

Halo semuaaaa~

I know this is a random picture I got from the internet. I know it's a cat. and I know it's screaming bacon. And to be honest, it has nothing to do with this post. :P hahahahahh..

But the expression kinda resembles me when I read through back by blogging years' posts.

After a couple of years of "service" di dunia blogging, today is my first time buat baca2 waaaaaaaaaaay back to the days when I first experience how thrilling blogging was :P

I can remember the adrenaline rush that got to me when I'm about to share weird stuff online (read: kekacauan2 yg telah terjadi ditengah kedamaian hidup gw). I can remember my sleepless nights gara2 keasikan nulis2 blog. I can also remember the jumpy feeling pas lagi ngetik yang disebabkan oleh excitement yang begitu besar (apaan coba? LOL). Last but not least, I can remember the frustration of not remembering the tiny details I wanna share with you guys. LOL. Eniwei, since inggris indo inggris indo bikin kaga ngeflow, gw lanjut indo aja d. Lebi ekspresif. hahahahh.. with a tad of english~

Turns out, ternyata blog gw mayan entertaining jg y? I wasn't in the best mood pas baca2 blog gw and my mood was then lifted up gara2 ini blog. Efeknya ok si.. tapiii...gitu diliat2, blog gw semakin kebelakang, semakin mellow! Otak gw langsung berputar keras dan membuat hati bertanya2 cemas..

...

Apakahh.. gw semakin mellow dengan bertambahnya umur?

Ataukah ini kepribadian gw yang terkubur sedari dulu tapi baru terungkap belakangan gara2 kebanyakan pikiran ato stress yang berkepanjangan?

ataukah saya telah menjadi semakin dewasa sehingga kejadian2 bodoh sudah semakin berkurang?

Ataukah ini hanya perasaan saya semata? *ceileeee.. bahasa indonya mayan baku bo!!*

Well.. apapun sebabnya, gw yakin bukan karena yang ketiga si. hahahahh.. Kejadian2 dodol si ga perna abis. BUT, gw rada ragu buat publikasiin semuanya di inet. bahaya klo dibaca orang2 gereja trus fans blog gw makin banyak. lol. Maapkan kenarcisan sementara saya. :P

Putting the joke aside, gw somehow emang berasa makin mellow si. Tiba2 dunia warnanya makin monochrome, abu2 berasa jadi item, kuning jadi putih.. merah jadi abu2?

...........

idiom yang gw bikin ga nyambung =.=' lol. But eniwei, mungkin jg ini efek karena gw ketularan ama yang super mellow kli y? I can't really help it! For the last couple of years, gw deket ama orang yang super mellow. Jd in a way, gw tiba2 bisa ngeliat dunia yang begitu berwarna dari kacamata seorang mellow. Ibaratnya kek orang pake kacamata item disiang bolong deh. Doesn't matter how colorful the view is, all you see will be black and white (or monochrome) if you are wearing sunnies. Even a good pair of sunnies will still give you the same effect.

and in this case, I got free sunnies from this person. :P

I can only hope biar gw bisa buang kacamata itemnya ni. gawat..

ok, back to Indo, and let's lift up the mood. Tiba2 jadi mellow =.='

...

Okaaaaaaaaaay!!! Let's move on to the next topic!!

The topic for today is: the stock market crash effect on people around.

Biasanya si efeknya ga ampe gimana2 banget ke gw.. tapi, hari ini, efeknya hampir kenapa2 ke gw.

So, the question is: what do I mean by saying klo efeknya hampir kenapa2 ke gw?

Lemme tell you about what happened today in Finance lecture. :P

Finance lecture di Usyd (di kelas gw) itu biasanya on-time. Bukan cuma ontime, tapi gurunya juga mayan rajin buat bagi2 kabar ttg share market buat at least 15 menit ampe 1 jem pertama lecture. Well.. not that I'm complaining, I'm happy with this since I don't really read the news. Even better, gurunya cakep.

Eniweiiiii... selama 9 minggu uni so far, ini guru ga perna telat.

not until today~

Pas gw dtg ke kelas, gw mayan amazed karena si guru cakep ga disitu (gw telat masuk 5 menit). After 5 mins waiting, itu guru dateng dengan wajah stress. Not only that, tp abis nyampe kelas, instead of langsung ngajar setelah komputernya siap, he actually stared blankly to the screen. well.. looking tired. Mebbe dia stress kali ya gara2 harga saham jatoh mayan dalem.

Even more surprising, instead of showing us graphs about stock market, he showed us pictures tentang pegunungan2 dari seluruh dunia. I actually tot he wanted to distract himself from the stock market situation at the moment. lol. Turned out, the pictures were photoshopped to reflect the stock market in different years. ~.~' dasar guru finance. pantesan bentuk gunungnya aneh2. hahahahh.. well.. gw ga surprise lagi d. -.-

dan seperti biasa.. Lecture berjalan for 1.5 hours, break bentar, trus lecture lagi.

Semua berjalan normal..

dan tiba2.. ruangan kelas dikejutkan oleh sebuah suara cempreng dari luar.

Betul sekali sodara2!!! Fire alarmnya bunyi!!! Awalnya cm 1 yang bunyi. But after a while, ada alarm laen lagi yang melolong manggil fire brigade.

sayangnya, alarm2 tersebut gagal... gagal buat bikin lecturer gw sadar akan adanya bahaya kebakaran dan berentiin lecture demi keselamatan bersama.

Si guru tiba2 makin ganteng by being indifferent to the fire alarms. LOL. Gw actually sempet mikir andai kata umpama jikalau ada gas bocor trus gedungnya meledak or anything *touch wood!!* what should I do? Should I send a text to my sis and parents to say I love them? Do I need to write a will?

awalnya gw mayan tenang si.. Sampe samar2 terdengar ada suara si mobil pemadam kebakaran dah mule ribut. dari samar, ampe kenceng.

tetappp.. guru gw ga bergeming. Lecture lanjut teruuuus!

Samar2, muncullah kecemasan yang dihasilkan dari buah pikir yang begitu pendek:

Lecturer gw ga suicidal kan???

Hopefully not. Tapi klopun iya, kami (read: finance studentsnya dia) jangan dibawa2222 @.@' Klo ampe gw yang kenapa2, tar keluarga khawatir. hahahahh.. Dan klo ampe kerumah bapa..

Well.. actually pulang kerumah Bapa will be very very nice.

But I'm not sure whether I've done what I need to do for God. We all have our calling in our lives, right? As for me, I'm still working on it. I wanna do my best to finish the race well so my Master will say "masuklah hambaku yang setia" ^^ I still wanna do more. Most of my friends are no believers, and I feel sorry for them :'( Wanna do more for God!!

Let's Jiayouuu!!!!!! :P

...

Such a surprising diversion from the main topic.. but welllllllll... bear with it! >:] haha~

Pesan Moral?

1. Do not wear sunnies to see life! (ps: read between the lines. hehe)

2. Do more for God!!

Blogspot glitch?

Hmmm.. Just a quick question. I've been unable to change the font color in my recent post. I also couldn't change the font size once I've published the post. That is weird. Anyone facing the same problem? What should I do?

Been trying to change the color for several times, yet successfully failed in my attempt to change them. :P

Have a great day everyone!

Cheers! <- purple? No?

Pesan Moral: Urm.. ask questions when you're confused? hehe.. <- it's meant to be in 2 colors and in 2 different sizes.